My first Reiki initiation took place more than two decades ago. Looking back today, I remember less a specific expectation than a feeling that this was something I should explore. Reiki was not part of some long-term plan I had carefully mapped out for myself. I simply felt a clear sense of curiosity, along with something within me that said I wanted to give this subject space. Even when choosing my teacher at the time, what mattered to me was not only what she offered or how her training was structured. I paid close attention to whether the contact felt right to me. Back then, I could not yet place many of these impressions as clearly as I can today, but I already took them seriously.
My first initiation marked the beginning of a period of exploration. I learned about self-treatments and also began to experience what giving a treatment to another person felt like for me. What interested me most was not so much whether I was doing something ‘correctly’, but what I was actually perceiving. Warmth, changes in bodily sensation, different feelings in my hands, or shifts in my own attention were experiences I became increasingly aware of over time. Not every treatment felt the same, and that was precisely what made me want to pay closer attention rather than simply follow a prescribed sequence.
Later, Reiki symbols became part of my practice. They too were initially an important part of learning for me. I did not understand them merely as signs to be memorised or used according to a fixed set of instructions. Over time, I began to experience them more as a form of attunement. When I worked with a symbol, something seemed to change for me in the quality of my attention and in what I perceived energetically. I began to feel that a symbol helped me attune myself more consciously to a particular vibration or energetic quality.
This became even more interesting to me when I later encountered other Reiki systems. Over the years, I was initiated into different systems, not because I wanted to collect as many titles or initiations as possible, but because I was genuinely interested in their differences. I wanted to perceive for myself whether, and in what way, those systems felt different to me. Some worked with other symbols, others used different terminology or placed greater emphasis on particular energetic qualities. For me, this was a way not only to read about such differences, but to experience them directly for myself.
And yet, it was precisely through this variety that something else began to reveal itself. The more systems I came to know, the more strongly I noticed not only their differences, but also something they seemed to share. The forms changed, the symbols could be different, and the descriptions of what was meant to happen sometimes varied considerably. Beneath these different forms, however, I kept perceiving energy. Gradually, this led me to a personal understanding: the systems may offer different ways of approaching it, but what they work with does not necessarily exist as something separate.
There was no single moment when everything suddenly changed. It developed slowly over the years. I continued working with what I had learned, but I observed more and more carefully what happened when I used a symbol and what happened when I attuned myself to the same quality without it. At some point, I noticed that, for me, the connection could arise without the outer form as well. What once required a particular action increasingly became an inner orientation.
Reiki after more than two decades therefore means something different to me today than it did at the beginning of my path. I no longer necessarily need a symbol in order to attune myself to a particular energetic quality, nor do I need a complicated sequence to direct my perception towards it. Often, it is enough simply to become consciously aware of what I am connecting with and what is showing itself in that moment. This understanding developed very personally for me. I would not conclude from it that symbols or traditional forms are inherently unnecessary. On my own path, they were important tools for many years.
My view of initiations has changed through this as well. In the past, I associated an initiation more strongly with gaining access to a particular system or energetic quality. Today, I also see it as a conscious transition through which attention, perception and experience are directed towards something specific. My earlier initiations helped me perceive differences and develop my sensitivity to energy further. The fact that I experience many things more directly today does not mean, for me, that those earlier steps were wrong or superfluous. Without them, my path would probably have unfolded differently.
At some point, I also learned to initiate other people into Reiki myself. This allowed me to encounter the subject from another perspective. I was no longer only the person receiving or exploring something, but had to engage more deeply with what, for me, was actually happening during an initiation. Here too, over time, my attention shifted increasingly away from the outer form and towards the inner and energetic orientation. The procedures still provided a framework, but what became more important in my perception was the state I myself was in and where my attention was directed.
From all these experiences, a very simple thought gradually emerged for me: energy is not only there once I give it a name. For me, it does not begin with a symbol or an initiation either. I perceive energy as something that is already part of my experience and my surroundings. The different systems helped me become more consciously aware of particular differences and qualities. The more familiar this perception became, however, the less I needed the outer markers in order to find my way back to it.
This can also be seen in how I prepare for a Reiki session today. Although I now need very few outer rituals for my own energetic attunement, the atmosphere of the room still matters to me. When someone comes for a session, I prepare the space simply. I make sure it is comfortably warm, perhaps light one or two candles, and play quiet music. I do not do this because I believe these things create the energy itself. For me, they simply provide a calm environment in which someone can arrive more easily and leave everyday life outside for a while.
My own preparation, by contrast, happens mainly inwardly. Before the session begins, I take a moment, become quieter and bring my attention to the session ahead. I try to anticipate as little as possible. I do not want to decide beforehand what another person might need or what ought to happen during the session. I notice what reveals itself and remain open to the possibility that every encounter may be different. Today, I experience this openness as an essential part of my work with Reiki.
When I attune myself in this way, my perception of the room often changes as well. The atmosphere then feels calmer to me and sometimes more fluid. This is my personal perception, not a statement about what another person must experience in the same moment. Some people perceive a great deal during a session, others very little, and both are, for me, part of individual experience. I do not see my role as telling someone what they ought to feel.
Perhaps this experience has changed my relationship with Reiki more than anything else over the years. In the beginning, so much was new, and I therefore orientated myself more strongly towards the forms I had been shown. Later, I began paying closer attention to what, for me, was actually revealing itself behind those forms. Today, my perception has become more direct, but it does not stand in opposition to my earlier path. Rather, it has grown out of it.
I therefore do not experience any contradiction between the Reiki I first encountered more than two decades ago and what it means to me today. The early forms helped me develop a language for something I was only beginning to grasp at the time. The different systems expanded my perception and allowed me to experience differences for myself rather than merely accept them in theory. Over time, that language became so familiar to me that I no longer need every individual term or symbol in order to understand what I am perceiving.
When I think of Reiki today, I therefore see it less as a fixed system and more as a long part of my own path with energy and perception. The initiations, symbols and systems belong to that path, but they are no longer at its centre for me. What remains is something simpler: the possibility of perceiving consciously, attuning myself to energy, and remaining open to what is actually revealing itself in this moment.